Cupid is an Asshole

Do you like Valentine's Day?

Does anyone past the age of 24 really like Valentine's Day?

As a parent, I realize hearts and flowers and having someone important in your life are all very critical elements to teens.  Once we grow up, what then?

I'm the first to admit I'm not the most romantic person on earth.  I'd rather give or receive a laugh-out-loud funny card than some long, mushy, Hallmark poem.  (It would be different if it was a poem written from someone's heart ... but let's talk real life, okay?)  

It isn't that I don't like romantic gestures, because I do.  I just don't care for contrived, forced down your throat, gestures.  I also hate over-crowded restaurants with "set" menus for the evening.  Bleh!  (I'd rather go out the night before, or the night after, V-Day when it's less crowded and restaurants provide better service.)  

Quite honestly, the most romantic meal in the world would be if a man put the effort into making a candlelit dinner for two at home.  This is something I must be content to merely fantasize about.  If Briefcase were to make me dinner it would consist of a bowl of Cap N Crunch and a 100 watt light bulb. 

Seriously.

I've been polling people all week on their Valentine's thoughts.

For men, it seems like Valentine's is a holiday they hate except for the hope of sex if they come through with the right gifts.  They know they're not screwed if they fuck up the expectations of their significant other.  There's a mix of dread and fear on the part of the men I talked to.  They know there are expectations centered on them. They don't want to mess up, but at the same time they'll be relieved once it's over.

As an aside, Briefcase was not one of the men I talked to.  He's off sunning himself in the tropics still.  I would bet a good deal of money he doesn't even know Valentine's Day is this weekend.

Women?  Well, we're all different.  I guess that's what makes it such a challenge for men. Most (but not all) of the women I talked to felt flowers were a must.  I think it goes back to our teen years when only one or two sluts girls walked around high school with roses from their boyfriend on Valentine's Day.  All the rest of us socially inept teens looked on in awe and hoped someday we'd get flowers too.  

Some women, however, think flowers are a waste of money.  Some want chocolate, but others feel chocolate is insensitive if they are trying to diet.  Some women like sexy lingerie and others feel it is a gift "for the man" and not for them.  And on and on it goes ... confusion, angst, and the effort to get it "just right."

Maybe that's the very reason so many couples mentioned to me they fight a lot on Valentine's Day.  Cupid is an asshole, or so it seems.  Couples all over the world are getting in arguments because of him.  (OK fine, maybe it's also because of poor communication.)

One of the best Valentine's Days I ever had was the first year Briefcase had to travel and be away for the holiday.  We were newly married and I was crushed he would be gone. I had zero expectations going into the day.  Briefcase must have felt very bad about his absence because he created surprises for me all day long.  Flower deliveries (two!), gift deliveries, a card informing me we had reservations at a nice restaurant for the night after his return.  Every few hours, all day long, there was another little surprise.  It was fun even though he wasn't home to celebrate with me.

When he did get home, I made sure he knew how appreciative I was of his thoughtfulness.

Sigh ... newlyweds!

My worst Valentine's Day?  When Briefcase completely forgot it even was Valentine's Day. Then he called as he was driving home from work to ask what was for dinner.  I was so mad at that point, I told him to drive through Taco Bell and pick up his own dinner. 

Surely you're not surprised I can be a bitch?

What was your best or worst Valentine's Day?

Comments

[Jan]

"Quite honestly, the most romantic meal in the world would be if a man put the effort into making a candlelit dinner for two at home."

I'd agree with you if I could stop laughing hysterically.

The best V-Day I ever had? The first one Beloved and I spent together. It was a doozy.

The worst? Every V-Day since. *sigh*

[tonya cinnamon]

The best valen times day ever ?
grins it would be tomorrow comiung up. ok i know thats no valentimes day but close enough. its offically my divorce date ^___^
haha
also i dont do valentimes day. its expensive and its bullshit for the stigma it represents. i can be spoiled and feel special any time by family or friends or even my b/f
to me its just another day.:)

[Nothing Fancy]

My ex husband showered me with gifts on Valentine's day, but treated me like crap the other 364 days of the year.

My now and forever husband loves me and treats me like a queen every single day...not just Valentine's Day. We don't do anything special to celebrate Vday. We do special things every day...

Honestly? All the little things he does every single day (fill my car with gas, take care of the kids, wash my car, pack my lunch, pay the bills, be with me and talk to me) are much better than a bunch of flowers on one day.

Believe me...I know.

Thank goodness for the good men in this life like my husband. Outsiders thought my ex was so romantic because I got the flowers at the office, etc. But he was a complete JACK_YOU_KNOW_WHAT!

[Lori]

I think V-Day is just another commercial event to get people to spend money on over priced items all because someone say's they should. It's a day when a lot of people feel like shit whether they are in a relationship or not...all because of the torment of either buying something good enough for their beloved or being disappointed or being reminded that they are in fact "alone".

I really don't understand why "we" as people can put so much stock into one day because what really matters is how we are being treated the other 364 days of the year. I think men are treated very unfairly in the whole deal so I can so see why they hate it.

When I was still single, I found a book at Target called I hate valentines day. I LMAO while reading it in the store so bought it. It's brought tears of laughter to many people.

My husband and I have never been out for valentines day but this year we are going out and not because it's valentines day...we just so happen to have someone that was crazy enough to ask to babysit and since we never go out, we are taking this offer. We are going to a movie...we have never ever been to a movie together.

[Alan]

I am of the belief that EVERY day should be Vslentine's Day. Of course...that's a crock. Couples fight and make up and live life. So things are not always lovey-dovey. Valentine's Day isn't the worst holiday I can think of (that is reserved for Sweetest Day. WTF is THAT all about?), but it's not my favorite either. And you kind of hit on why...you never know WHAT she is expecting! I've bought just about everything I can think of...from jewelry to clothing to perfume. After 12 years of being together, I'm already tapped out! So now it's become a dinner out with friends (maybe...if they can get a sitter)and I'm still undecided on whether to get her flowers. They really do jack the prices up for VD at the flower shoppes and we're trying to save money. As for me? I cannot lie...I am always hoping for a little hanky panky on this day. Gives me SOMETHING to look forward to! LOL

[dogmother]

Valentine's Day has been OK..I never have big expectations...now birthdays are a whole different story...right 24?
Things are pretty predictable...flowers, mushy card. That's OK...but last year was very sweet. It was our second Valentine's Day as a married couple. When my husband and I got married two years ago, due to a variety of circumstances, we had little extra money, so we just bought a couple of inexpensive gold wedding bands. At this point in my life, jewelry means nothing, and gold bands were fine! Well, last year, he took me to dinner on Valentine's Day and gave me an engagement ring....a small diamond...but it was so sweet and unexpected.
The worst Valentine Days have been consoling my teen girls because they didn't get what they wanted from their BF's.

[Kristan]

Sadly he may have enjoyed the Taco Bell V-Day dinner... If he's anything like Andy, anyway. :P

I'm under 24 so maybe I don't count, but I like V-Day just because it's a good reminder to people to celebrate their love if they don't already. And if they DO already, then it's just another day!

Andy and I are going out to dinner (I made the reservation) but we do that most weekends. I doubt I'll get flowers or a card, but that's okay. Maybe we'll just split a dessert, like creme brulee!

I'm an easygoing kind of girl, though.

[Mama Dawg]

All my boyfriends seemed to mysteriously need some space right around Feb. 12th, so I've never had a proper Valentine's...sucky or not.

BUT, I am not a romantic person. If I can at least get laid on V-day, I'm good to go.

Fingers crossed this V-day, I'll be doing just that!

[Hallie]

I honestly think the day was created by Hallmark to make us women wrongly judge our men by how much loot they get us. John appreciates that it's just another day to me. Plus, I think he ought to make me feel loved EVERYDAY and not just save it for one!!

Having said that, if we had millions of dollars and could take a vacation to the tropics every V-Day, I'd be totally ok with that!!

Hallie :)

[NGS]

It's our first Valentine's Day since we got married, so I guess we're going to do dinner and a movie. Is it wrong that I'm super excited to see Coraline in 3D and that's all I asked from my husband?

And, you know, then we'll go home and he'll tweak my nipples and we'll engage in some adult entertainment.

I don't remember any especially bad Valentine's Days, but I do remember how awful it was in elementary school when they passed out cards to everyone in the class and my cards were the cheapest ones my parents could find and all the kids with monied parents had super deluxe ones. I never thought we were poor until that day. Then I knew we were!

[Kelly]

Laughing about the cap n crunch and 100 watt light bulb. Best valentines was getting flowers from someone I was SO hoping was interested. Worst? There have been many.

[Kara-Noel]

Valentines Day is a pretty lame holiday. My hubby and I don't do gifts (we are saving for a house in the OC) but we have been known to have a bottle of wine and a nice romp :) This year he wrote me a sweet poem (my post today)... it was nice and silly just what I love. But our best Valentine's Day ever was last year when we had our second baby... Cora. She was 9 days late and a completely natural birth so she was meant for that V-day b-day.

[Life with Kaishon]

I like Valentines Day. I like LOVE and red flowers and happy hearts : ). I make a nice meal for Gary and Kaish and show them love. I never get anything for me, unless I buy myself flowers, but I don't really care.
I hope you have a good one this year. I am so jealous of the tropical trip your husband is on.

[Undomestic Diva]

Worse than not getting flowers on Valentine's Day is getting flowers the day after Valentine's Day because then everyone in your office knows that a) he fucked up and b) you pitched a bitch because of it.

No flowers, no mushy card, no fuss for me thankyouverymuch.

[Renee Couturier]

Well, Valentines day doesn't get alot of attention at my house, I do get something for my kids and I also get a card for my husband. I have already reminded him that it is Saturday. After which he reminded me that we probably won't be doing anything special. What a guy. But that's OK, he's a good guy just not very good with Holidays.
I probably won't even get a card

[Heather]

Women are supposed to get flowers on Valentine's Day?

[Linda]

I'm not a Valentine Day celebrater. I see no reason to stand in line for two hours at Olive Garden (because they don't take reservations) on 2/14 when I can go next week Tuesday and walk right in & eat. And flowers? IF you're going to buy them, make them potted. Something I can plant in the yard an enjoy year after year. The ELPH is happy to oblige.

[Amy in StL]

I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. I once called a boyfriend who lived 3 hours away to see if he was coming down or if I should drive up; his new live-in girlfriend answered the phone.

However, the last two years I was dating a guy who on our first one together asked what I expected because he didn't want to screw it up. So I told him that I really didn't celebrate it and so he could do whatever he wanted.

He proceeded to not get me anything - which was fine - but then went around telling everyone in our 10 story building who would listen that he wasn't getting his girlfriend a damn thing. AND then he reveled in their horrified reactions before telling them that I didn't really celebrate that day.

[vodkamom]

I hate Valentine's Day.....

[shaunna]

when i was a child my dad got my mom a 1 lb heart box of see's candy and my sisters and i the quarter pound box. i liked the party at school and the valentine cards.

as an adult, i don't subscribe. never have, don't really care, doesn't matter.

which is why i insisted on taking the earliest appointment available for my breast cancer surgery 8 years ago - and it happened to be on valentine's day. the astonished woman on the other end of the phone gasped, "but it's valentine's day!" my response was, "and your point is?"

regretfully, i now like to be remembered on february 14th as a survivor. my poor kids.

happy valentine's day!

[Elixa]

It kinda seems like a silly excuse to spend money.

[Momo Fali]

I love Valentine's Day because my husband comes up with very original, very interesting ways to be romantic. The holiday gives him a reason to tap into that creative side and I love to see what he comes up with.

[Joanne]

I had my sweet (emotionally unavailble ) Larry for six years. His birthday is Feb 15! (true) Every year he heard the same statement from me....."Valentines day is coming, dont screw it up, or you wont be needing your birthday this year"!!hahahahahaha

[Shannon]

I think Cupid is an asshole too !!!!

[Smart Mouth Broad]

Valentine's Day has never been a big deal for us. I don't mind. I feel like MHS shows he loves me all year and we don't need a special day to say it. Sometimes we do celebrate and it's great but when we don't, that's OK too. I guess I missed that girl gene.

[Lo]

i hate v day. v day should stand for HELLO i have a vajayjay and she feels neglected day. i've never had a good v day. my husband always forgets or gives me some lame blue daisies that were the last flowers on the store cuz he forgot. at least he brought me roses last night... after i told him on teh phone that i had bought flowers for the kitchen. i think he wanted to one up me. romantic huh? my plans are going out to dinner tonight and then vegging out (oh after working tomorrow morning. joy.) all day. cuz i'm sick. lovely.

i think alcohol will play a key part tomorrow.

[Amy]

I always loved making my post box and the cards for my classmates in elementary school. We also got to have a party and treats, it was awesome.

My wife and I prefer to celebrate occasions that actually mean something to us, like our anniversary or our birthdays.

I'm finding the older I get the less inclined I am to celebrate commercial holidays.