Breaking Up is Hard to Do - The Story of Big Weenies and More

I dated the same guy through most of college and for a year or so after.  For the sake of today's post let's call him Big Weenie.  On occasion Big Weenie and I would break-up and date others, but for over five years he was pretty much the man in my life.  (And yes, it makes me cringe now to think I wasted all my college years on ONE person!)

Although?  Big Weenie.

Nonetheless, at the time Big Weenie and I were close and we got to know each other's families quite well.  His family took me along on vacations and my family took him on trips too.  I think a lot of people figured Big Weenie and I were destined to end up married someday.

Alas, it was not meant to be.  My feelings changed significantly once I got involved in my career.  I was living in my own apartment, supporting myself, trying to climb the corporate ladder and suddenly ... I didn't feel the same.  Big Weenie was busy with law school and still in student mode and we drifted apart. 

Eventually, Big Weenie and I broke up. 

I moved on.

Shortly after, I began dating someone new.  (No, not Briefcase ... he came along later in my life.)  Big Weenie would still call and sometimes we would meet "just for coffee" or "just to talk" but our lives were separating more and more.  I became quite infatuated with Mr. Electric.  We had electric (hot, magnetic, amazing, sweltering!) chemistry together.

At the time this was all taking place, I temporarily lived in Sacramento.  I had a favorite, very authentic, Chinese restaurant I loved near my apartment.  One night I suggested to Mr. Electric he would also love the food there and we decided to stop in for dinner. 

We walked into the very tiny, one room, restaurant and the hostess pointed us to a table.  To my surprise, and embarrassment, Big Weenie's family was seated at the next table.  The entire Weenie family was apparently in town visiting.

Can you say awkward?

I said hello to everyone.  The Weenie parents were confused and thought I'd been invited to join them and chosen to bring along a "friend."  My new flame, Mr. Electric, looked puzzled and then gradually the realization of who these people were began to sink in.

After saying hello to everyone and explaining to the confused Weenie parents that no, sorry we won't be able to join you tonight I announced, "We were just leaving."

Never mind that we had just arrived.

I grabbed Mr. Electric's arm and we turned and walked right back out of that restaurant.

It's a scene I've never forgotten. 

I think a tear might have dripped out of Big Weenie.

** Ahem **

Maybe that didn't sound quite how I intended it? 

It's a scene that was brought back to me in vivid detail recently.  My daughter was home from college a few weeks ago.  We decided to take our family, and her new boyfriend, out to dinner.  We walked into a restaurant and were seated at the table next to her high school boyfriend of three years and his family.   She broke up with Boyfriend #1 a few months back.

Boyfriend #1 used to practically live at our house for the three years they dated. He is far from over her.  He followed her to the same college.  He's renting a house only a few buildings down from hers.  Everyone who knows him has told us he "can't" get over her. When she broke up with him, he reacted in anger and quite honestly it got a little scary for a brief period until he seemed to collect himself.  They run into each other at college once in awhile, but not often.

As in my situation, our families had become friends too.  We greeted each other with hellos and hugs and then sat back at our separate tables right next to each other.  It was made more awkward by the fact that Boyfriend #1 is so dejected.  My heart went out to him.  How terrible to have to sit through a meal and watch the love of your life at the next table with your replacement?

Gah!

Later, after we left for the evening, we realized something even worse.  It had been Boyfriend #1's birthday.  He was out with his family for his birthday dinner celebration when we arrived.

How terrible is that?  We ruined his 20th birthday.  

I can't get over the pain in his eyes.  I can't get over the tremor in his voice when he hugged me and told me he misses our family.  I know everyone gets their heart broken eventually, but it doesn't make me feel any better for the poor guy.

Have you been in a situation like this too?  What's the most awkward new flame/old flame situation you've found yourself in?

** As an addendum to this post.  I've decided to leave the anonymous comment entered this morning calling me a California whore.  Initially I was going to delete it, but I figure you should have the opportunity to witness the negative side of Internet writing too.  Still wondering how a California whore is different from a Florida whore though.  What do you think?  **

©  Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Jan]

I, too, dated a Big Weenie.

Unfortunately, it wasn't that great - by virtue of his Big Weenieness he expected the bun to do all the work.

[sometimessophia]

Well, there was the time I was out flirting with a new guy - a date set up by someone at work - and I was stranded at the bar out of town and needed a ride home from somebody I trusted. The only person I could think of with a car was an old boyfriend (who was never husband material, btw). He came to get me, but he was really pissed.

Does that qualify as awkward? Or just supremely stupid...

[Lo]

god.... when i was in high school, i had one of my first boyfriends who became like a part of my family. i was at his house ALL. THE. TIME. his mom would pick me up from school, we'd hang out together, and then he would come home from practice and we'd hang out. i was friends with his mom- i loved her like a sister. seriously. we would frequently drive up to l.a. to shop for craft projects (she was an interior designer) and i was always there.... i still, to this day, miss that house and those people. alas, boyfriend broke up with me by accepting to go to sadi hawkins with a bitch i hated. i didn't even know until SHE told me, not him. ah, young, 15 yr old love.

but still. if i were to see that family again with MY replacement? i think i'd crumble and just flat out cry. his mom was an amazing woman i wish i still had contact with.

[Kelly]

Big Weenie story made me LOL! And when Big Weenie had a tear ... OMG .. laughed so hard I'm crying. Feel bad for boyfriend #1. How terrible to start with, but on his BIRTHDAY?

[Debi]

I walked in with on a boyfriend having sex with someone else. Does that count as an awkward moment?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just say big cock if you mean big cock? I bet you did like it. California women are whores.

[di]

Sad, but unavoidable for Boyfriend #1. I'd find a new restaurant next time I go out.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

[EricaB/CrazyMomma]

Nothing that awkward - thank GOD! My heart breaks for them...so sad.

[Midlife Slices]

Oh how I love anonymous comments that spew forth venom but are too big a "cock" to sign their name. Makes me smile just thinking about their cowardliness.

[Mama Dawg]

Hey anon! I bet you're a guy and you have a small one. A very small one.

Anywho, on to a REAL comment on the post, I never dated a guy long enough to get that way.

But I can imagine the hurt. Poor guy.

[Midlife Mama]

Big Weenie... LOVE it. My ex b/f Harley Dude, could have also been called Big Weenie. Oh yes. Gotta love the b/f nicknamed Big Weenie. Heh.

And boy, that's awkward. Great story I enjoyed reading it, although my heart breaks for Boyfriend #1.

[Kate]

Your anonymous commenter is an ass. An ass with a little dick. How much do you want to bet on that?

Big Weenie is hilarious. As for boyfriend #1, he will get over it in time. Someday he'll tell the story of "the worst birthday ever" and his kids or grandkids will cluck with sympathy.

[Jan]

Oh, man - you have your very own TROLL.

I am so jealous...no one EVER trolls MY comments...

[Alan]

Funny...my heart was broken by a few different women. I never kept track of them until years later. Now 3 of them are my friends on Facebook! Don't know how long it takes a heart to mend, but I have to imagine that the guy's heart has mended and he has movied on.

As for the anonymous writer, it doesn't surprise me what people do anymore. We all love your stories and realize that the occasional idiot will crash the party. Keep up the good work 24! :-)

[Tricia]

I don't quite have a story like this, but since my husband has an ex and they have children together, I've found myself in quite a few awkward situations related to unrequited love. She used to send me old greeting cards that he'd given to her while they were married...birthday cards, Valentine cards. Getting the mail was lots of fun. Anyway, there's nothing like an ex wife with children for daily in-your-face proof that your guy had a long term, intimate relationship with someone other than you. In a foul mood one day, we were visiting my home town when I pointed out to my husband the guy I lost my virginity to. Bitchy, I know.

[ChurchPunkMom]

Yay for whorey California girls!! We rock.

Anyway.. I know I've had moments like that.. only, I was always the one getting dumped and having a broken heart.. never the 'one that got away'. So I'm usually on the other end of the awkwardness. ;)

[Liz C]

Mine is so bad I'm almost tempted to go anonymous, but that's probably not wise today, given the Troll Alert.

This one was all my fault.

I was married but had a, ahem, fling with a guy at work which had ended disastrously. I was trying to get past it and not doing a good job of it.

I told Work Guy that we (meaning Hubby & I & friends) would be going out to a particular place that Friday night -- a clear warning for him to stay away.

Yeah, you saw that one coming.

Work Guy sat on the other side of the room and stared at us. Luckily Hubby didn't know who he was... until Work Guy walked over to our table, shook Hubby's hand, and told him how much he'd 'enjoyed working with his wife'.

Ack. I think that counts as awkward.

Hubby & I stayed married for another 20 years, although we probably should have called it quits back then. That fling was a big old red flag that I chose to ignore.

Ugh. Now my stomach hurts.

[Megatonlove]

Being called an insulting name actually says more about the person doing the name-calling than it says anything about you. I'd leave Anonymous to his/her pathetic little point of view. People who point the finger of judgment at others always forget that they have at least 3 other fingers pointing back at themselves.

Maybe Anonymous needs to get laid to loosen up a bit. Maybe Anonymous can only get sex by paying for it, if his/her charming personality is anything to go by. Who knows, and indeed, who cares?

[Pseudo]

Yep, everyone gets their heart broken at least once. But the serendipity of the restaurant scene was a bit surreal.

I'm with mama on the troll anon commenter.

And whore? Someone who has the same boyfirend for the entire time they are in college? Really? I had a friend who was a bit on the slutty side. When you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and you don't know the strange guy in the house, night after night...

[Amy]

I'm sorry, but am I the only one who thinks the nickname Big Weenie is hilarious? And the Weenie family? The whole first half of your post made me laugh out loud.

And by the way, I'd like to join the Whore Club. Because if you're a whore I'm a Super Whore.

[Kristan]

LOL TO JAN OMG!

Thankfully I've never really had to deal with that. The benefit of dating a small # of guys all in different geographic locations/time periods in your life.

I do feel bad for your daughter's BF#1. But you know what, they're young, he'll bounce. That's what's so beautiful about the human heart. :)

[matt]

maybe the troll anon *IS* big weenie. good post, 24!

[Mike]

A California whore swims in an ocean with a rocky coast. A Florida whore has flatter beaches but warmer water.

[Helena]

I feel so sorry for Boyfriend #1. Oh the pain...

California whore??!! Wow!

[Kari-Mel]

I couldn't stop laughing over this entire post - and THEN to come to the California Whore anon comment......Well suffice it to say I snotted coffee all down the front of my pretty white t-shirt! I needed a good laugh today! Thank you for being here to provide just that laugh!

[Mad Woman]

Oh gosh...as if the post wasn't funny enough, to then read the California Whore comment just finished me off. Haha!

I loved the Big Weenie story. I don't have anything quite like that, but I'm sure my sister probably does. I'll have to ask her.

Also? I'm signing up for the Whore Club. I've always wanted a club for folks like us!

[Fragrant Liar]

I'm a whoredog, and you're a whoredog, and we are whoredogs all! When we get together, we give our whoredog call! WOOF!

Scared ya, didn't I, Anon? You coward.

Poor Big Weenie and BF#1. I once had a Big Weenie boyfriend, and he had a big weenie sex problem too (sex addict, which is nothing to laugh about, but he was indeed a whoredog). Alas, he never knew how to use that thing. The awkward moment came when a year after we'd quit dating, he came over to my house on Christmas morning with gifts for me and the girls, and he met my new soon-to-be-husband. He was quite surprised, and it was a really awkward ten minutes while he was there.

[Sandra]

Both situations were so awkward! Ack! I can't recall any similar right now. Hopefully my memory has blocked it out! haha

Oh, and I'm proud to be a Californian Whore!

[thistle]

Oh...i had an old boyfriend who used to show up at every party after we broke up, just to sit in the corner and cry. Tedious.

[Lump]

I love LOVE Big Weenie so I must be a whore... down here in Texas. You should see the buck I rode last night. ;)