Women Want Funny Men; Men Want Women

I get CNN articles delivered to my Google Reader.  Yesterday CNN had an article, Why Funny Guys Get the Babes, about women preferring funny men over boring ones.  Well, the article didn't call the non-funny men boring but let's face it, if you don't have a sense of humor you're a bore.

At least, to me.

Women apparently rated funny men as more intelligent and honest than non-funny men. Intelligence and honesty are qualities women find important in long term relationships as well as friendships.  Being funny takes intelligence.  Thus, funny men are more attractive, and more sought after by women than non-funny men.  That's the Twenty Four At Heart summary of the article in a nutshell.

Well, except for one thing.  Men, apparently, don't care if their women are funny.  Men only care that their women be women.  That's right, a woman just needs to have a vagina and a man is happy.

OK, so perhaps I'm paraphrasing a little ... but let's go with it.

The article said, "research suggests that men don't care much about women's sense of humor."  

Can I add ... "as long as she's got big tits and/or a tight ass."

As I mentioned a minute ago, I'm paraphrasing a little.

Men are also, according to the article, a little narcissistic.

"A man wants a woman who laughs at his jokes and is not too bothered if his girl isn't funny at all," the article said.

Would that be the infamous Male Ego rearing it's very big head?  

[Insert joke about big male heads <here>. ] 

Is it true that men don't care if a lump of a personality sits next to them as long as that lump laughs at their jokes?

The article did say when women are very funny, to the point of illiciting laughter (instead of just a smile or a chuckle I suppose), they are viewed as favorably as funny men are. But by whom?  By other women?  Or by men?  Or by both?

I know I, personally, have a high regard for both intelligence and a sense of humor. Both characteristics were mandatory for men I dated in my pre-Briefcase days.  When I look at the male friends who are important in my life, they all make me laugh.  However, the female friends I value the most are women with a great sense of humor also.

Life is short, I want friends I can laugh with.  Which is not to say, there's always a lot to laugh about.  When I look back at the worst parts of my accident recovery (days when I could barely inhale because the pain was so severe) there were people even then who could make me smile.  Isn't that how we get through the worst life has to offer?  By searching high and low to find the humor in our lives?

I'd like to hear from both men and women on this one.  How important is a sense of humor in a mate to you?  How about in your friendships?  Does gender really matter?  Is it true men don't care whether or not their women are funny?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Helena]

If I'm dating a guy he MUST have a good sense of humour. Same goes with friends. It would be so dull and boring otherwise.

The person I laugh with the most is my mother. We finish each other's sentences and sometimes we only have to look at each other before we crack up laughing.

As for men... I'm sure the decent, normal ones want to be with someone who's got a sense of humour. Then there's that little group of men who just want a pretty little thing to show off to their mates.

[di]

I like a man with a sense of humor but not to go overboard with it... then they just seem like a dim wit to me.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

[Lori]

I think a sense of humor is a key ingredient in most relationships...whether it be with your partner, friends, children...whoever...you hit it in on the nail with being able to find laughter no matter what life serves up to us. Laughter has gotten me through a lot of really shitty situations through out my life...kept me from going over the deep end and continues to do so.
My husbands ability to make me laugh is one of the things that attracts me to him. We laugh every day together.

As far as men go, I do think having a peice of eye candy attached to them builds their ego's but most of the men I know that I have been good friends with, always told me that they could not be with a woman that didn't have some sense of humor. I watched them hook up with "eye candy" and if it turned out that she was serious all the time and rarely laughed, the relationships didn't last. In the many discussions I have had with men over this subject of what they find attractive, the common denominator for most of them, was the ability to be light hearted, not so serious all of the time, someone that laughed with them along with physical attributes that they were attracted to. Most of these men had experienced being with a woman who's beauty was only skin deep and over time her inability to laugh or have a sense of humor about life along with being bitchy, took away their desire to be with her long term. Essentially they said that the ideal woman would be attractive, have a sense of humor and not a bitch...lol!

[Nothing Fancy]

Humor and wit is paramount! Wit more so that humor, even!

[sometimessophia]

Honesty, kindness, and wit can go a long way towards keeping a marriage fresh year after year. Women are such headcases, they pick up on this right away. I think men require a few decades to get this concept under their belt. It takes longer for them to realize that lasting relationships require more than sex.

[Kristan]

I love people who can make me laugh, no doubt about that, but I've also found that humor can be deceiving. Some people that I met in college, and thought were my friends, could crack me up non-stop -- but those turned out to be very shallow friendships with two faces. The truer relationships, in my experience, are the ones that include humor, but go far beyond it as well.

(That said, I had an exhaustion-induced bout of randomness yesterday afternoon at work, and basically gave my friends a free comedy show out of my silliness, and it felt great to make them all smile so much! I'm not usually considered that funny.)

[Kelly]

I love a man with a quick wit and a dry sense of humor. I'll take a man who can make me laugh over a better looking bore anyday.

[Mike]

I definitely like a woman who can make me laugh. No laughter makes for a very short relationship. It does also help though if she has a clitoris.

[Jan]

A sense of humor is important to me, sure. If you take my first marriage into consideration, it's apparently VERY important to me.

The ex? Had a *wicked* sense of humor and a razor sharp wit. Intelligent? Not as intelligent as Beloved, but he wasn't stupid. Honest? Shit - the man wouldn't know the meaning of the word if he looked it up in the dictionary. And looks? Only if you're into 5'2", 250 lb. Hispanic Kewpie dolls. But oh, he could make me laugh...when he wasn't making me cry.

[Renee Couturier]

A good sense of humor is soooo important! I love to laugh, ask anyone. I once dated a guy who said I embarrassed him because I laughed too loud. JERK!! That didn't last very long. And I definitely want friends that make me laugh. Like you said, life is too short and there is enough crappy stuff anyway. I have learned as a get older that negative people only bring you down. I can do that all by myself.
I want to be happy.

[emmysuh]

Haha, first of all, I don't think you can type something in quotes and then admit that's not the quote...I'm just saying... ;)

Secondly NO EFFING WONDER I'm not seeing anyone. Although I DO have big boobs and a tight ass (and a VAGINA, for that matter), I'm FUNNY so NO ONE CARES.

But yes, I readily admit that funny men are kinda my weakness. I mean, if I'm spending all my time making other people laugh or am always laughing myself, a non funny man is a DRAG.

Someone please tell me how to fix this conundrum.

[Tricia]

Judging by how cranky my husband gets when I lose my sense of humor, I'd say, for him, my funny bone is as important as anything else. And for me, I think the sexiest qualities in a person are a sense of humor, sharp wit and keen intelligence. Of course it took me several years to figure this out.

[Pseudo]

Sense of humor and wit are very important, as long as it doens't idle in The Wild Boys Zone long after adolesence.

[NGS]

I read an article in one of those beauty magazines a long time ago about the different meanings that men and women assign to "sense of humor." To boldly stereotype, it essentially said that women think a man has a sense of humor if he makes her laugh and men think a women has a sense of humor if she laughs at his jokes. It makes for an interesting dynamic in male-female relations, I think.

[deb]

And then there's always the difference between a man who THINKS he's funny and one who really is.

[melody]

You mean all this time, all I needed was my VAGINA?? I didn't need a personality, a sense of humour, or to be a nice person? Fuck. Hey, I've got a VAGINA ... any takers? ;)

[ChurchPunkMom]

Yep. I like people who can make me laugh. :)

As far as my husband's opinion.. I guess it doesn't matter if women are funny to him, after all.. he's married to me. And I'm totally NOT funny.

[gina]

my bf being funny is one of the most important things to me, the ability to be silly together is what makes me so happy in the relationship. i think he appreciates my humor just as much as i appreciate his, maybe even more since im such a hoot!! hehehe ;)

[Sandra]

How important is a sense of humor in a mate to you? My husband IS funny. The problem is he rely's on it too much. Humor is his avoidance mechanism. He is rarely serious. In the 15 years we've been together it's become very annoying. I'd have to say a person needs a good balance.

How about in your friendships? I have a couple extremely funny friends who I love to be around but since they're always looking for the laugh they too are rarely serious. Again, I like balance.

[Deidre]

I have got to have The Funny. Not Funny no go. Although it is also important that we have a similar sense of humour - like if he doesn't get my lame-ass jokes what's the point?

The last guy I dated was a totally non-funny bore, and one day when I complaining about it to my roommate she said "yeah, but you're hilarious. A couple only needs ONE funny person" I did not like that at all. (well besides her saying that I'm hilarious - its stating the obvious - but a nice compliment all the same).

[Midlife Mama]

@emmysuh @melody : Yes you have a vagina; but do you have a clitoris?? That is the question around here, apparently. LOL

But with regard to the sense of humor thing: Yes a sense of humor is very important. I would hate to go through life with a tightass guy who couldn't laugh at things that happen. Ugh.

But on the other hand, balance is important, too, because you don't want a guy around who never takes anything seriously. I mean, sometimes you HAVE to be serious. Like at work. Unless your job is being a stand up comedian. Otherwise be serious about your job. Keeping at job is hugely important.

[Nicki]

Anyone that I am close with has to make me laugh. The ones I am really close with, make me laugh so hard my sides hurt. That's the measure of my "friend meter". As an aside my husband gets me laughing so hard I snort on a daily basis. I lucked out.

[Neil]

I think your POV is completely wrong. Guys may say they only care about T&A, and this might be the initial attraction, but you still have to get through that first date and TALK about something. Who wants to be with a good-looking, but humorless boring woman?

[Elaina]

Lurker here. I don't know if I necessarily agree with the idea that men generally don't want someone with a good sense of humor. I know that's the second most important thing I'm looking for in a man. First being, "Breathing." I've found that the guys that I've dated that are super funny have always told me that they love my sense of humor.

I think a truly, truly intelligent, funny man will find Ms. Lump with the Big Ta Ta's boring. Maybe not initially as, well, she has big ta ta's. But at some point, Ms. Lump will have nothing to offer.

But back to what I really meant to say . . . YES! A man who makes me laugh is HOT! Even if he's not technically hot. By the way, I'm not technically hot either so there you go.

[steenky bee]

Favorite post title. Ever.

P.S.: LOVE the "whore" comment over at Jennster. I call her a hooker as often as I can.

[Kate]

Make me laugh and I'll follow you anywhere.

[Lo]

okay. duh. i read your site. i adore you. i may not sex-toy love you, but i adore you. duh. sense of humor is A MUST to me. if my husband weren't such a spaz and so quirky, we wouldn't be together. i am the snarkiest bitch i know, and it takes one to take one on- so anyone i'm close with needs to know how to dish it. dripping sarcasm is the only way to go. as for men only caring about me having a vah-jay-jay? they can shove it. only a REAL man who knows what he wants can handle a woman who has wit and humor and timing. it takes talent, yo, to keep up with this shit.

[Elixa]

The real friends I have make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Beyond that, true friendship involves trust, because man, can people be deceptive and backstabbing!

As far as men go, I like a man's man who has a good sense of humor about live and can laugh with me, because I'm pretty funny too. Someone who’s got my back and accepts me for who I am (a total whack-job but a very entertaining one & I have big boobs + tight ass).

No games and no bullshit, thank you very much! I don't want anyone too needy either, because that’s downright annoying.

P.S. If I want a handsome guy who barely cracks a smile I can buy a sexy wall poster. Who want to be around a "good looking" statue?

[Irish Gumbo]

I may be a little late to this one, BUT...

I value a sense of humor and intelligence VERY highly. If all I wanted was a vagina, well, blow-up dolls would satisfy that requirement (and even then, probably not very well); I like having a lady companion who can make me laugh and think. In fact, I find both of those qualities very sexy and attractive.

Big boobies and "tight" asses are nice, sure, but I don't want to get it on with a bump on a log. I want their mind and personality and mind to engage me, its much more attractive

[Fragrant Liar]

I'll tell you, if the guy has nothing else attractive about him, he definitely needs to make me bust a gut laughing. Of course, that's why a lot of ugly guys are funny, cuz they know that, which is why ugly guys get to procreate once in awhile, perpetuating the ugly guys in the room. I think the funniest guys must be in Texas cuz there sure are a lot of ugly ones here. Oh wait, did I say that? There are some really gorgeous ones too. They just aren't too funny.

[Momo Fali]

I could never be with someone who didn't have a great sense of humor. As for me? You HAVE to have a good sense of humor to live with my husband. Also, you can't be easily offended.

[Alan]

Um...I like women who are funny. So...I guess I'm not your typical male. As for me...definitely NOT funny...ever. Not even once.

Ok...well...there was that one time...at band camp...

[Jack]

That's right, a woman just needs to have a vagina and a man is happy.

Intelligence and the ability to have a real discussion are always going to be key elements in a relationship.

But I'd be lying if I said that having a vagina wasn't important. ;)

[Mama Dawg]

I think I'm just naturally drawn to a sense of humor. More so in a friend than a man, but still, I'm drawn to the funny side.

My best friend makes me laugh harder than anyone else can.

[Cute~Ella]

Humor is paramount for me in all of my relationships - friendships/dating everything! Life sucks sometimes, you need to be able to laugh and if you can't make yourself laugh, you have to surround yourself with those who can make it happen.

It's been my experience that men DO care if they're partner is funny...at least the men I know :)

[Kara Noel]

I'm way funnier than my hubby... He is sweet (and extremely hot) and laughs at my jokes. We are flip flopped from the CNN article. Mmmmm... I don't really get the chance to laugh at his jokes in public but I grab his arse a lot... and I put out... does that count for something?