Miscellaneous Moments & BTW The Torturer's Back

It seems like I have so many things to share with you, but many of them aren't worth an entire blog post of their own.  I thought I'd catch you up on some random news and thoughts.

1.  Time magazine did not list Twenty Four At Heart as one of the top 50 websites in the world.  Instead, they picked sites like Google, Amazon, Twitter and Netflix.  Those Time people have no sense of humor whatsoever.  I'm sure they'll realize their mistake in time for next year's selections.

2.  I was filling out high school registration paperwork for my son yesterday.  School starts here in about two weeks.  The registration form asked, "Does your child have a probation officer?"  He is fourteen.  Fourteen!  (I answered: not this week!)

3.  I danced in a cemetery, in a dress, before the taping of the Dr. Phil show.  I didn't tell you this before because I'm sure it's disrespectful and maybe you're offended by dancing in cemeteries.  I got carried away with all the pretty grass and flowers.  I want you to know, if I was buried there I'd smile if someone showed up feeling joyful and wanting to dance.  It would make me smile even when I was already dead.  It would probably even be the highlight of my deadness.

4.  I get PR offers from companies all the time.  I don't think you come here to hear me talk about products so I ignore them.  Yesterday I was contacted by a company offering me a free 3 month supply of a diet product.  They "hope" I'll choose to talk about it here with you after trying it.  I should have been insulted, but I was too busy eating my lunch when the email came.

5.  I'm debating taking the diet company up on the offer just for the potential jokes their product would offer.  Shhhh!  Don't tell them.

6.  I tweeted that I was mildly insulted by the diet product company.  I posted pictures of myself two days ago and then BAM! I heard from a diet company.  Another blogger responded and told me she was offered a product for balding women.  She made me feel much better.

7.  My post yesterday about One True Love generated a ton of Twitter responses/comments and emails.  If you have a minute, read yesterday's comments.  The honesty and raw emotion in the responses floored me.  I'm always so touched when people are willing to open up and share with me.

8.  I mailed my son his first college care package.  He forgot his flip flops here and called asking if I could mail them back.  You can take the kid out of California, but you can't take the California out of the kid.

9.  I saw my shoulder surgeon for the first time since summer began this week.  He told me my breasts are "very perky."  Does that seem odd to anyone?  Granted, he is the one who insisted I have breast reduction surgery to aid in regaining use of my arm.  And yet ....

10.  I didn't inform him I now have bionic nipples too.  

11.  The doc was not impressed with the fact I've taken most of the summer off PT.  Not at all.  I've been sentenced ordered scheduled to return immediately.  He is 100% convinced it will improve my arm function somewhat from its current uselessness.  I begin today.  FML.  (For those of you unfamiliar with FML it means Fuck My Life.)

12.  I left the doc's office and literally ran into The Torturer.  You know, that stubborn man who thinks he's my physical therapist.  Yes - I ran into him.  As in my body crashed into his.  I think he planned the whole damn encounter with my doctor.  They conspire together.  It's infuriating.  I know you love him.  I know you miss Torturer stories.  I hear about it from readers all the time.

13.  He hugged me.  Yes, The Evil Torturer hugged me and told me I have appointments booked with him even though I cancelled them all.  He said I need to get over being pissed off at him.  "Get over it."  That's what he said, very matter of factly.  I like being pissed off at him.  It gives me an outlet for my arm frustrations.  I enjoy having the outlet.  How dare he ruin it with hugs and niceness and blah, blah, blah caring about me crap.  What an exasperating asshole man.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Michelle]

I thought your photo looked great. Don't think I thought 'very perky' when I looked at you though (but you were dressed ;))

Maybe that fly on the wall was The Torturer...hhmmmm (You should have splatted him while you had the chance!)

Dancing in the cemetery, so cool. You can dance on (or maybe near) my grave if you like, but you'll have to wait a few years and come to Australia - now, there's incentive to come over!

[Deidre]

I think dancing in a cemetery is awesome. I got a piggy back ride in a cemetery once...

And I keep reading that one point as "prohibition" officer.

[Joanne]

in order..
I am sure your captive audience enjoyed your dancing in your dress, from their viewpoint, how could they not?
Diet companies are like anorexics, they think everyone is fat.
how could your doc not know about your nipples? EVERYONE knows about them!hehe
finally, yep, that was definitely an ambush!

[di]

Well, ya know... in your own best interest you DO need to get over it and get back to the Torturer. Ya, that's just the grandmother in me talking and giving advice but that's what we grandmothers do. :-)

Snappy Di

[Kristan]

YAY I'm glad the Torturer is back! Because forgiveness is good, and so is using your arm. Also, #6 is hilarious! :)

[Kelly]

You make me laugh.

How dare he ruin it with hugs and niceness and blah, blah, blah caring about me crap.

How dare he?

[Jill]

I got that diet pill email too. Or whatever it is, I ignored it. Some people have a lot of nerve. Just because I'm constantly talking about my fat ass on my blog, who do they think they are offering me diet drugs?!?! :-)

[Suzy Voices]

Probation officer! Holy crap!

And I think dancing in a cemetery is a lovely thing. I'm sure any spirits that were around were enchanted by your dance.

Well, they ARE very perky! I know, I have them too. I actually walked my new dog without wearing a bra yesterday. The scandal!!

YAY for the Torturer being back!!

[Jan]

I SO love how you think.

May I have this dance, my dear?

[Mike]

LOL!

[Helena]

1. Who reads Time magazine anyway?!
2. Haha! Good answer.
3. Dancing in a cemetary isn't disrespectful (I'm sure it raises positive energies or something), overturning tombstones is.
4,5,6 You're taking the whole diet product offer very well. I'd be really insulted if it had been me.
11. Good luck with the PT sessions! I'm sure the Torturer is absolutely delighted to have you back.
13. Aaawwwhhhh, bless!!!

[Jack]

Dancing in a cemetery is a time honored tradition, no really, it is. I'd do it.

[Jane]

Well, I can't speak for all your readers, but I'm still waiting for naked pics. So far, all this "perkiness" business is 3rd party gossip. As a writer/reporter, I like to verify my information.

[amyz5]

OMG I got that email for diet products too! I am less offended now that I know it was not selective (and I will stop looking for the hidden camera now)

Sorry you have to go back to the torturer, but I am not going to lie, I do miss him.

Good luck.

[Sarah]

I think dancing in cemeteries is a happy thing. I think cemetaries are peaceful and beautiful if not always happy places. And yes, I dance in the ones with multiple loved ones in them most of all. They don't want to hear my whining!

Weirdo surgeon, taking advantage of the situation to talk smack about your perky breasts! Is he cute?

Don't let the "kindnesses" get in your way - hate the torturer if it makes you feel better!

[Pseudo]

I am so surprised they don't have flip flops in the south....

[Kim @ Beautiful Wreck]

Danced in cemetery - please - offensive? Hell no. I lost my virginity in one. Don't tell anyone.

[sometimessophia]

At Mount Holyoke College, they eat ice cream at the gravesight of the founder on her birthday. Sounds pretty civilized to me. Why not dancing?