I'm Mentally Confused - I Think?

I am not normal.

I don't know why that is?

I've been home all week caring for my son who was diagnosed with H1N1.  He's sleeping a lot.  I think he's getting better.  He's on a lot of medications and drinking tons of fluids.

As you may remember, the doctor also felt I had caught H1N1 and put me on Tamiflu.  I didn't even feel very sick.  One of the possible side effects of Tamiflu is mental confusion.

Seriously.

Am I not mentally confused enough already?

I have been so scattered.  I can't seem to think in a straight line.  Thank goodness I've primarily just been at home playing nurse because I think I'm a danger to the world and myself right now.

Have you gotten a confusing email from me?  Have I responded to an email you sent me twice?  Or not at all?

I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing right now.

Two days ago, I desperately needed a few things at the grocery store for my son.  It was raining.  There were no cars in the parking lot.  I parked right in front of the store.  I bought the needed groceries and then spent fifteen minutes looking for my car in the parking lot when I was done.  

Yes, I did walk right past my own car several times in the process.  

I know I'm blonde ... but, really?  

This is not like me.

I am an efficient, organized, woman.

I think.

Or I was?

That same day I was discussing music with a friend.  I couldn't remember the names of songs.  I couldn't remember which artists wrote which songs.  I'm a total music buff.  Finally, I decided to stop discussing music because clearly, I really know nothing at all.  

Except, I think I do.

Or, at least, I did prior to taking Tamiflu.

I won't even tell you about my attempts at cooking.  I *might* be forgetting things like turning the stove on ... or worse, turning the stove off.  

To put it mildly, I'm no longer trusting my own judgment on anything.  I have to take Tamiflu for three more days.  I don't know how long the drug will stay in my system after that.  At what point might my mental acuity return?

In the meantime, the other day it rained until afternoon.  Then the sun came out for awhile and the clouds cleared.  Not long after, the sun began to set.  I looked out our back window at "my" mountains.  They looked so beautiful and so vibrant in color.  

The mountains often look pink or red or purple as the sun sets.  This time they looked even more purple-ish.  I was amazed.  I took a photo.  Then I wondered if they really looked that purple, or maybe it was an illusion born out of my druggy confusion?

Aren't they beautiful?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Sarah]

Wow! I've felt that way for different reasons entirely, and it is SO frustrating. Swimming through mental jello. I hope that clears up FAST for you. And your son.

But you're not confused about the mountains - they're gorgeous!

[Joanne]

dont worry about it honey!! besides thinking in a straight line is highly over rated

[di]

You are a mess my dear and I'm hoping I never have to take Tamiflu because I'd probably get lost in my own house. I think you'd better stay home and off the roads for a few days as it sounds as though you could be a menace to society. lol

Di

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Those mountains and sky are amazing; what a view to have out your own window.
Those side-effects will wear off before long. And you're aware of it so you can ask your hubby to help you out when he's around. Just go slow and be careful. I have gotten like that with bad sinus infections. Like I'm operating in slow-mo or under water. And I once came out of the pharmacy (where 3 cars were parked in the tiny lot) and went to get in another car. When I realized it wasn't mine I panicked and could not find my car for almost a minute, thought it was gone. Then I got freaked out that I was really losing it. And I wasn't on Tamiflu, so I can imagine you feel even more hazy. It'll be over before long. Glad your son is coming along!

[Kari-Mel]

That is a beautiful picture! It's just as you pictured what you were taking!

I totally understand the mental confusion - I've been going through it every round of chemo and it sucks! I'm beginning to feel like I have alzheimers or something! I'm totally forgetful and have repeated myself to my friends so many times it's scary! Here's hoping we get our minds back safe and sound!

[Jack]

I really know nothing at all.

I have often said that if wives would just own up to this every marriage would improve. ;) Just kidding. Feel better soon.

[Alan]

Din't yer momma ever tell ya...Don'T Do DrUgs?!?! TheY MeSs wiTh yEr MiiiiiiiiynD...

But oN thE FLIP SidE...tHey suRe dO maKe colourS pUrtIer...

[Pseudo]

The mountains where you live are very beautiful. And think how nice and green they will be after the rain.

[Jan]

Hmmm - I get all of that mental incompetence absolutely free, courtesy of menopause. Honestly though, I'm glad that PR seems to be getting better; I know how worried you've been about him.

The sunset is absolutely GORGEOUS.

[Mike Krause]

In addition I've heard that Tamaflu desensitizes certain body parts. With risk of sounding rude, how are the bionic twins fairing?

[sometimessophia]

Looks like a Maxfield Parrish sunset. Very pretty. And if you think you're ditzy now, just wait for menopause. Twice the fun, half the memories. ;)

[Duchess]

Oh, glad to hear PR is on the mend.

Maybe you are just getting a pig's eye view.

[Suz Broughton]

I hope you are all feeling better now. I've been a little offline so I haven't caught up with you.

[john john]

having taken the h1n1 vacine shot over eight days ago I have been subjected to headaches that feel like someone put a vice in my head and started to expand it.I have very rarely ever had headaches before.I am nearly 65.Other symptoms include disorientation confusion.lack of focus as attested to by missing streets on the way home and even going by my own home and having to turn around in my next door neighbors driveway.Forgetabout reading it takes too much effort and I have to reread to make sure \i comprehended correctly.I have seen the same doctor three times and he is sending for xrays and blood tests.hopefully this a passing thing and by all accounts with the comments made by othersthat it will end shortly and it will.We are all in the same boat and we will reach the shore ahortly.believe it and have faith.JohnJohn,Hudson Quebec Canada