My Fat Didn't Melt

** I'm giving away a beautiful photography book this week.  Click here for details. **

Apparently, I have un-meltable fat.

Either that, or Zerona just didn't work on me.

Or perhaps, as I'm inclined to believe, fat melting just plain doesn't work?

If you haven't been reading along, I've been testing a Fat Melting Machine called Zerona.  I wrote about the first of six Fat Melting appointments here.  My plastic surgeon friends are (were?) considering this machine for their practice, but didn't want to offer it to patients unless it got great results.

By the way, apparently two other people who work in the plastic surgeon's office also tried Zerona, and I was informed it didn't work for either of them either.

Here's a photo of the Zerona machine:

On six separate days (two weeks in a row of M, W, F appointments which is what Zerona recommends) I rested for forty minutes under the fat melting machine.  For the first twenty minutes of each appointment I was on my back, and then I flipped over for twenty minutes on my stomach. 

And yes, I did let my fat impress everyone while I was there.  I wore nothing but a thong and bra during each treatment.  My measurements were taken (neck to knees) on my first and last day of treatment.  I'm even going back this Friday for one last measurement confirmation.

While I was baring my ass hanging out, the Zerona machine was sending laser beams onto (into?) my body.  Each of the four arms, and the circle in the center of the machine, beamed down on me while I lay there.  The theory behind the machine is the laser (supposedly) pierces the fat cells, causing them to "leak" out fat.  This (supposedly) shrinks fat cells and causes the patient to lose inches.  A person's body then flushes out the leaked fat right along with other waste.

The concept sounds like it would lead to positive results.

What is the cost for six Zerona appointments?  Well, it varies.  I was told the recommended cost is $2,500.  Some offices apparently charge as much as $3,500 and I found it available at one location for as low as $1,600.

Let me back up now and tell you a few more things recommended by the Zerona folks.

While a person is undergoing Zerona treatments, they request you take a daily supplement.  I asked if the supplement contained a diuretic (to make a person pee out all their water weight and lose "fake" inches).  I was told it did not contain a diuretic.  However, I've taken the supplement as directed and peed like crazy.  I'm a little dubious.

Why does Zerona say a person should take the supplement?  They say it aids in the "detoxification" process.

The Zerona rep also told me I should exercise and/or walk daily, cut out fatty foods, drink eight glasses of water each day and stop drinking alcohol while undergoing fat melting treatments.

It sounds suspiciously like a diet and exercise regimen, don't you think?

All of the above are supposed to help a patient achieve "maximum results" from the Zerona machine.

Are patients paying for Zerona results or the results of their own dieting and exercise?

My question is this ...  

If I lost nine inches at the end of two or three weeks, how would I know what I lost from dieting/exercising/cutting out alcohol/taking supplements vs. the actual effects of the (very expensive) Zerona treatments?

I didn't have to worry about that, I guess, because I did not lose nine inches.  

This is what I did do:

1.  I went to my six Zerona treatment appointments.

2.  I took the supplement provided.  (And actually will continue to take it for a few more days.)

3.  I maintained my existing exercise plan of 3-4 days/week on my elliptical and or walking.

4.  I avoided fattening foods as I've been doing pretty religiously since the first of the year anyway.

5.  I drank a ton of water because I've been constantly thirsty and felt very dehydrated (I think from the supplements).

6.  I drank no alcohol except for 3 (perhaps 4?) sips of champagne at the Plastic Surgery Party.

What were my results?

Well, there were a few spots on my body which measured slightly smaller, but other areas measured slightly (gasp!) bigger.  I chalked this up to inconsistencies/variations in the actual measuring.  The woman responsible for my measurements agreed with my assessment.

All in all, there was no noticeable difference in my body as a result of using the Zerona machine.  Supposedly, a person can continue to lose inches for up to one week after treatment but since I didn't see any changes during treatment, I'm not holding my breath.  (However, if I go in this Friday and see a sudden drop of inches I'll be sure to let you know.)

Let's pretend for a minute, I did have good results ...

Let's pretend I lost six inches combined over my entire body (neck to knees).  That still isn't enough, in my opinion, to justify spending $2,500.  Why not spend that money instead on a nutritionist and a personal trainer?  Or for the surgically inclined, spend a little more and get liposuction for more dramatic and permanent results?  

And again, if I did lose six inches, how would I know how much Zerona was responsible for vs. how much I did on my own through dieting/exercising/increased water consumption/supplements.

I'm concerned about that very thing with my next, and final, set of measurements.  I'm on a 1000 calorie/day diet for the next two weeks.  (This is something I chose to do independently - it has nothing to do with Zerona.)  If I lose a couple inches by my final measurement day, I doubt very much the fat melting machine should receive credit.  I think it's far more likely my new diet, combined with an hour per day of power walking, will impact those measurements.

Regardless, the fact is, I didn't see any noticeable change as a result of Zerona treatments during the two weeks I was treated.

Did I want Zerona to work for me?

Of course I did.

Would I spend a couple thousand dollars for fat melting treatments in the future?

No, I would not.

Would I recommend a friend spend the money to try it?

No, I would not.  

And now I have a question for you, my wonderful readers.  

Let's pretend someone gifted you $2,500 which had to be used to improve your weight/inches/body appearance.

How would you spend it?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[di]

What a hoax! But, there are always those simple minded few that will fall for it.

Never mind me.... I'm just sick and grumpy.

Hmmm, the $2,500? I would spend it on a cute work-out outfit and hire a trainer to come into my home and help me work off the pounds.

DI
The Blue Ridge Gal

[mama llama]

$2500 to look better? Hell, I'd buy myself a new wardrobe and take a trip. We look better when we feel good about ourselves. Period.

Be well, 24.

[Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels]

Nuts. I think if people walked daily, avoided fatty foods and alcohol and drank lots when they weren't doing any of these things before, they would probably lose a few inches after 6 weeks anyway, even without going under a machine that looks like it's right out of a sci-fi movie about high-tech torture ;-)

[Hallie]

That machine looks painful. Or kinky. Can't decide.

$2500.00? I'd take myself to a sunny place and sit my ass on a beach and drink an unending pina coloda. I think I'd look much better cuz I'd be MUCH happier!!

Hallie :)

[Michelle]

$2,500? Hmm, would probably pay myself to cook properly (plenty of fresh fruit/veg, unprocessed meat) and walk/surf/exercise more.

I think I'll do that anyway, I have a school reunion in 6 weeks. Must look good for that. I'm only going as I'll catch up with my family and the one girlfriend I keep up with anyway, and to see if the other kids in my class turned out how I thought they might...is that wrong of me? :D

[[email protected]]

Damn! Didn't think it could work, but we live in hope.
$2500? I think new clothes.

[Erica]

I'd get a Bowflex, new treadmill and misc equipment. Sometimes my muscles seem to crave resistance/stretching exercise and I can't satisfy them right now. Sorry to hear about the fat melting machine. Just thinking it existed was cool for a while.

[Jan]

Oh, I'm SO SURPRISED about the fat melting machine (did you catch the sarcasm there? I know you did).

If someone gifted me $2500 to lose weight, I'd pay off one of our credit cards. I *know* what I need to do, I have the means to do it, and no amount of money in the world is going to provide me with the one thing I lack - motivation.

[Pam]

With $2500, I would fly to Manhattan Beach, hang out with friends, play beach volleyball each day, run on the beach, then eat delicious Mexican food for dinner each night. I'm not sure I'd lose any weight, but I would have a HUGE smile on my face! :)

[Joan]

I'd buy myself a nice little piece of jewelry. And feel really good when I wore it!

[Kelly]

I'd hire a personal trainer for one month to get me started and motivated. You did say we have to use it for improving our body, right? Then maybe I'd use the rest of it in some type of reward system to keep me motivated. Either that or I'd plan a trip to Tahiti!

[Michelle Pixie]

I'd make my girls smaller and *fingers crossed* maybe I could get myself a set of bionic nipples...Of course I am sure that would only be the down payment but who cares?!

[NeCole Scott]

Boobs, I need real boobs of my own so I can ditch the chicken cutlets. I know I can't get them for $2500, but I could come up with the rest of the money.

[Karen]

I do believe I would hire me a young tan thing to be my trainer. I'm sure watching him would get my heart racing. It's all about cardio, right?

Sorry the treatments didn't work, I was really hoping they would. I can't afford something like that right now, but everyone needs something to dream about.

Have a good one.

[Christy Bracey]

I would get a personal trainer. What better way to lose weight then to have a super hot guy helping you along....$2500 for somthing I could just do with a little work? yeah no stupid machine for me....

[Becky]

What a scam!!! So glad your doctors office tried it out before they started to offer it up to costumers because then they would just look bad.

$2500??? I would hire a personal trainer to come to my home and show me how I can get in a work out in without scarifice to much of my time away from my two little kids. After being away from them all day at work I hate to drop them off at the gym daycare just so I can get a workout in.

[Mike Krause]

With my luck lately, the only thing that would shrinks would be my wallet and my penis.

[Priscilla-She's Cookin']

$2,500 would almost buy me a week at Rancho La Puerta! I can't believe you didn't lose more inches just from taking the diuretic - I mean supplement, eating low-fat, exercising, drinking lots of water and NOT drinking any alcohol. Geez, why bother ; )

[stacy]

hmmm how much does chin liposuction cost? 2500?

[Shay]

I'd probably get that smart lypo, hehe.

[Tami]

I'd higher the hottest trainer I could fine. Nothing like a hot man to get a girl motivated!

[Jenn in Tenn]

Oh! I would totally get a new treadmill (mine's shot!)...the kind that mimics hills and such. And some new cute exercise clothes! We all need to look cute, don't we?

[Lex - @laprimera]

I would spend it on laser hair removal. I am so not down with maintenance of the waxing. I don't need $2500 to get fit. I need motivation and action on my part.

[Deidre]

Hm, I'd probably use it to buy more yoga passes - those things are expensive! But um, a personal trainer. Or maybe some aryuveda counciling. Help the body and the mind.

[Liz Tee]

So funny... there's a cosmetic center in Seattle that was advertising something similar constantly on the radio for a couple of months. Then all of a sudden they stopped and went back to advertising their micro-liposuction. I bet fat melting just doesn't work.

And I'll bet you a dollar those were diuretics.

Damn. Maybe someday they'll invent a free lunch for those of us with too much junk in the trunk. Sigh.

[LPC]

I think you should go undercover and go cosmetic intervention hoax-boasting all across the nation. Thong in hand:).

[missy]

No question. Tummy tuck!

[Jason]

Sounds like a scam to me! I still say Weight Watchers is the best way to go.

[Stephen]

$2500 huh? Deep tissue massage till it runs out.

[Denise]

Tummy Tuck....or ummmh, would that be called "huge, bulging gutt removal", in my case?? LOL

[Mad Woman]

I'd buy a new wardrobe that suited my body. :)