Why American Women Should Boycott American Men

There is *someone* who keeps leaving spam comments on Twenty Four At Heart.  He's made his rounds through the blogosphere, leaving the identical comment on blog, after blog, after blog.  I'm not sure if he's skipped a single author of a blog anywhere in the universe.  He doesn't care if the blog author is male or female.

Mr. Troll has made at least three stops here, each time leaving his signature comment touting the reasons why American men should boycott American women.  

Oh, and there was also the time he came by "screaming" (all caps!) obscenities at everyone who was making fun of him in my comments section.

(By the way, you - my wonderful readers, wrote some hilarious responses to him!)

The best thing to do when a "troll" seeks attention is to ignore him.  I've deleted his comments as soon as I've seem them.  I've also blocked his IP address, but he keeps coming back with new ones.

However ....

He got me really thinking with his comment.  I very quickly realized American women should actually be the ones to boycott American men.

By just changing a few words in Mr. Troll's comment I arrived at the following:

•  I am an American woman, and I have decided to boycott American men. In a nutshell, American men are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, they don’t know how to cook or clean, and want you to have their children.  (Oftentimes, ruining your vagina in the process!)  Therefore, what intelligent woman would want to get involved with American men? American men are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American men is utterly disgusting, to say the least. American men are inferior to foreign men (especially in bed), and American women should boycott American men, and date/marry only foreign men. BOYCOTT AMERICAN MEN!  •

In addition, I'd like to add the following ...

•  Despite scientific evidence to the contrary, there can be no doubt American men DO have periods.  The moodiness, the irritability, the anxiety, the overeating, the angry outbursts, the beer-belly-bloating ... shit, who needs that?

•  American men go through manopause.  In America, it's called a mid-life crisis and it's frequently accompanied by the purchase of a sports car and a much younger woman.  (And yes, the younger women are "purchased" through gifts, etc.  You don't really think a young'un is interested in Mr. Middle Aged Man for himself, do you?)

•  American men work too much and their entire identity is wrapped up in their jobs.

•  American men sit on couches watching ESPN for most of their lives.

•  American men want their wife to be their maid, mother, nurse, chef, laundress, and sex tigress all on a moment's notice.  Don't, however, expect them to reciprocate unless you want to be accused of nagging or (gasp!) being a bitch.

•  American men consider their belches, and particularly their farts, to be an art form.  

I'm sure you have some thoughts of your own to add.

Ready?

Set?

Go ...!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Deidre]

In my 25 year study of men...American men just aren't as attractive as other models.

[Maggie]

.....brainwashed into the "must trade up" mentality. As with cars, the wife of an American man must never feel secure in her position in his life. There is always another model right around the corner.

I'm feeling very left out of the spam fest...I didn't get a comment. I shall have to go cry on the shoulder of my Canadian man.

[Jan]

He commented on another blog I read yesterday - I can't remember which it was right off the bat. I'm kind of jealous; the only troll I've ever gotten was a friend of my ex-husband's soon-to-be second ex-wife.

Oh, didn't I tell you? That fat, lazy, ill-groomed, philandering, unemployed American man I married at 19 - the one who expected ME to support HIM, the one whom I divorced 12 years later because he *was* a fat, lazy, ill-groomed, philandering, unemployed American man - has been chucked out by his second (18-years-younger than he) wife. Gee, for all the same reasons.

I *could* tar all American men with the same brush, but I'm a wee bit smarter than your spammer - and it would be a disservice to the American man I'm now married to.

[John Rambo]

Let's face it- American women are disgusting creatures who are incapable of self-introspection. If they were capable, they would realize that THEY are the problem, not the men.

If American women are such a great catch, why is it that very few foreign men are interested in marrying them? And if American men are such horrible people, then why are they ranked as the most popular men in the world, in survey after survey taken by foreign women? American men are the most desirable husbands in the world. American women are the least desirable wives in the world.

So, cry all you want, but get used to living alone with your 10 cats, or become a lesbian. That is your two choices, American women.

[Jenny in MN now AZ]

American women are smart enough and confident enough to know they don't have to be a slave to a man, no matter what country he might be from.

Love your post 24!

[unmitigated me]

I suspect Mr. "Rambo" is unaccustomed to all this attention from women. Or any woman, really. Hard to get a date when you still live in Mommy's basement.

[Pam]

Funny post! I love your humor.

[Kelly]

You are hilarious 24. I love this!

[Tami]

Real men use their real names and email addresses and IP addresses when leaving comments.

[Kay]

Great post. Last night I asked my hubby was he was being such an ass and he asked me why I was being such a bitch. We were both right and that ended any further argument! Men...Love em' and hate em' all within a minutes time.

[Jason]

He stopped by my place, too. And I promptly deleted.

But, let me ask, does this go for GAY American men, too? I would think not. :)

xoxo

[Wendi]

Yes, he's a delight, isn't he? I'm sure the non-American women just can't keep their hands off of him.

[Keely]

Love it. I get his comments all the time. I wish he would leave an email so I could point out that I'm CANADIAN.

[Nancy P]

What I wonder is this. If this guy thinks American women are such disgusting creatures why is he spending his time reading so many blogs written by American women?

[Anne Gibert]

I would say that I have a wonderful American man, but then, mine is Alaskan -- and that's not really American, is it?

I feel sorry for Mr. Rambo. His life must be like his comments: sad and dull.

[Jack]

If American women are such a great catch, why is it that very few foreign men are interested in marrying them?

Simple answer my friend. Real American Men are cowboys and we understand that the best way to keep our ladies safe is to use the knowledge gained from taking care of our cattle.

We round them up, brand them and stick them inside pens.... Hmm, something tells me that referring to women as livestock is a good way to get hurt.

On the other hand the groom takes care of the horse...scratch that.

I'll agree with Mr. Rambo that women are subject to a particular kind of crazy, but they wouldn't be much fun if they were completely normal now would they. ;)

Oh, these sorts of posts are fun. A good whackjob lets us get creative. He is a dolt and like all dolts a bit slow. American women are just fine with me, but I have to be honest (cue music) and say that I wish they all could be California Girls.

[Virginia]

Jack,

American society is kind of backwards, here. I'd say women rounding up MEN and branding them like cattle would make more sense, eh? Given how hard it is for them to physically control their urges when an attractive woman is within sight. That way, sexual assault and unwanted pregnancies would go way down ;)

And I think men anywhere tend to be crazier than women...it takes two, doesn't it?

And about you wishing all American girls to be California Girls, maybe you want to try diversifying your taste in women? Because you'll feel pretty jaded before you know it :P

[Erica]

Women in other countries often expect their men to cheat, be moody, and demand a maid/seductress. When a foreign woman gets an American man who does those things AND gives her presents or money she feels pretty lucky. American women have the most freedom and the highest expectations in the world. Foreign men really need to get used to that because it's the future of all women. At least I hope it is. :-)

[DuchessOmnium]

The smartest (translate "cleverest" for Brit readers) UK men seem to prefer American women, in my experience.

[Jack]

Dearest Virginia,

I am now on wife number 9 so I can tell you that I have been branded more than once. And after having been married so many times, as well as having been the head of a harem I am confident in my desire for California girls.

[Patrick]

The only men who are stupid enough to marry or date American women are American men who have never been outside of America. Any American man who HAS been outside of America has seen for himself how foreign women are much more feminine and ladylike than these crude and masculine American "women".

American women are not really women. They are like men with a vagina attached. Sorry, but I am a heterosexual man, and I like FEMININE WOMEN. I don't like masculine women, because I am NOT a homosexual!

As for me, I agree totally. I have also given up on American women and date only foreign women.

[Cindi]

I am an American woman. I don't own a cat, let alone ten. I'm not a lesbian either, but I do enjoy sex with men quite a bit. I guess there are more than two choices for American women Mr. Rambo/Patrick. I've dated American men and foreign men and guess what? The quality of the man is determined by the man himself not his nationality. Any man with half a brain would know the same is true of women.

[John Rambo]

Here's some advice for all of you American ladies who hate men:

Become a lesbian.

[pred6]

I have read your blog for several months. I have to "say" this is hillarious. Thanks for letting all of us enjoy the "entertainment".

[cindy w]

That's why I married a British guy. Heh.

[Virginia]

John Rambo:

Likewise for all you American gentlemen who hate women:

Become a gay man.

[Virginia]

Patrick:

So what can American men offer to foreign women that foreign men cannot? American men who think they're some kind of god-given gift to women by being non-reciprocating, narcissist egomaniacs are in for a nasty surprise ;)

[Virginia]

Jack,

Just curious...what do you think American men has to offer to American women (especially CA girls) other than "protecting" them and "getting hurt"? ;)

[Virginia]

Maybe more American women should start courting more female-respecting foreign men, especially from countries like Sweden?

[Jack]

Virginia,

I do so enjoy conversing with women named after states and or cities. My first three wives were Brookly, Paris and Kalamazoo. I must admit that Kal was my favorite, she used to do this thing with her tongue that drove me wild.

Ok, I exaggerate that clicking noise used to make me absolutely crazy but not like you my newest love. Yes, I confess I am swooning over you. I can't help but imagine exploring your Alexandria and getting the news on your newport.

But then again we have the best here in California, Fairfax offers so much more. That is Fairfax as in the street in Hollywood.

You know my favorite part of this post is that there is 1 person trying to pretend to be three. It would be much more interesting if he were more clever, but alas he is not.

But let's return to my dearest Virginia- If you don't know what an American man can offer American women you clearly haven't made it to California- home of real American men.

We have better food, better tans and are more humble than any other American man in America. That is North America that I am referring to and no I don't include the Eskimos or Canadian Eskimos who call themselves North Americans. Anyone who uses Monopoly money for currency is automatically not part of America.

Ah, the logic here is outstanding. Got to run for a bit I see a beautiful blonde skating by and need to see if she'll agree to be wife number 12. If anyone runs into Larry King tell him that he is a slacker.

[John Rambo]

Nah, instead of going gay, I think I'll go FOREIGN, and date only FOREIGN WOMEN.

American women, on the other hand, do not have that option, because poll after poll and survey after survey shows that American women are the LEAST desired women in the world, amongst foreign men.

Like I said, the only men dumb enough to date/marry American women are American men who have never been outside of America.

[Jack]

because poll after poll and survey after survey shows that American women are the LEAST desired women in the world, amongst foreign men.

Dear John,

My pole is excited to read this unsubstantiated news. So if I thought with the bigger brain I would ask myself why you didn't provide links to the survey or why anyone cares about foreign men. Or should I say why would anyone care if foreign men like American women.

But all I can think of is how happy it makes me me to know that there are fewer men with funny accents fighting for their attention. Anyway, stay tuned and I'll keep you posted about the adventures of Jack and American women.